I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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