I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
