haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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