Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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