you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
