So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
