this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
