he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
