Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
now i know why i became what i already was.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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