i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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