next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
