i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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