btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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