Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
