dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want nice things and good sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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