just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize