The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
