I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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