So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
