I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My vagina just clenched in fear
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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