best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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