I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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