Screwed.edu
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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