please come you make the beer taste better
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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