You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
