No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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