it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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