I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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