porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
