I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
