I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
