She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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