Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
