I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
