Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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