do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
