Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize