so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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