i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
