Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
