Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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