i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
