Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
