So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
