i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
