I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
