In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
