What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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