And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
