I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
