how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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