When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
