i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
