We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
