New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The Olympian is in my bed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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