So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
