he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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