Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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