she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
