it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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