I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He better not be in your backpack
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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