Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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