oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
worst night to have a conscience
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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