she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
