i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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